Buildings vs Building
A few years ago a man of about 80 years of age, using a walker, came into my neighborhood pub. The moment he walked in the door he had everyone's attention. He was in a frustrated state. Angrily trying to express himself. Quickly, his anger and rambling turned most people off. Others, simply chuckled, at this feisty grumpy old man.
The cause of his anger & frustration was unclear. However, a careful listener pointed out the 80 year old was disappointed in his family. As a result ,I began to listen. The older gentleman kept cursing people who lived in "$500,000.00 homes filled with stuff ". With great passion, the 80 year old kept repeating this refrain.
The rest of the day this passionate refrain stayed with me. That evening I had time to reflect on the larger meaning. What had this man witnessed over his 80 years? What type of home or homes did he have in his life? What stuff did he have in his homes? Of course, I could only guess. However, it is what the refrain meant to me that mattered. It exposed my view that homes are no longer filled with family.
The observation that homes are "just filled with stuff " not people. The refrain took me back to my grandparents home. A large middle class home. Until my parents rented a nearby three family home, we shared the house with my grandparents. It was a modest, but very large home.
When we were not living there, we were frequently visiting. Daily visits, as my grandparents home was just down the street. As a boy I recall the home was filled with my not yet married aunts and uncles. Until her death my great grandmother lived there. Frequent visitors of family, friends and neighbors filled the home. Often there would be shared tasks: gardening, landscaping, painting, canning and the most important task caregiving.
After raising seven children, my grandmother had become a skilled care-giver. My grandfather was the largest beneficiary, as he suffered from heart and lung problems. This was a shared task as well.
As my mom and aunts would take there turn as care-givers. Everyone pitched in when illness struck.
Entertainment was shared as well. Before TV we gathered around the radio together. After TV we gathered around one set in one room. Often entertainment was gathering on the large front porch.
This was a house filled with people.
If family is important, our homes are filled with people. A home is filled with family, friends and neighbors.
The cause of his anger & frustration was unclear. However, a careful listener pointed out the 80 year old was disappointed in his family. As a result ,I began to listen. The older gentleman kept cursing people who lived in "$500,000.00 homes filled with stuff ". With great passion, the 80 year old kept repeating this refrain.
The rest of the day this passionate refrain stayed with me. That evening I had time to reflect on the larger meaning. What had this man witnessed over his 80 years? What type of home or homes did he have in his life? What stuff did he have in his homes? Of course, I could only guess. However, it is what the refrain meant to me that mattered. It exposed my view that homes are no longer filled with family.
The observation that homes are "just filled with stuff " not people. The refrain took me back to my grandparents home. A large middle class home. Until my parents rented a nearby three family home, we shared the house with my grandparents. It was a modest, but very large home.
When we were not living there, we were frequently visiting. Daily visits, as my grandparents home was just down the street. As a boy I recall the home was filled with my not yet married aunts and uncles. Until her death my great grandmother lived there. Frequent visitors of family, friends and neighbors filled the home. Often there would be shared tasks: gardening, landscaping, painting, canning and the most important task caregiving.
After raising seven children, my grandmother had become a skilled care-giver. My grandfather was the largest beneficiary, as he suffered from heart and lung problems. This was a shared task as well.
As my mom and aunts would take there turn as care-givers. Everyone pitched in when illness struck.
Entertainment was shared as well. Before TV we gathered around the radio together. After TV we gathered around one set in one room. Often entertainment was gathering on the large front porch.
This was a house filled with people.
If family is important, our homes are filled with people. A home is filled with family, friends and neighbors.
posted by Dominic Siclare at 8:08 AM
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