Contribution

In May of 1970 I was in the coastal city of Phan Thiet, Binh Thuan Province South Vietnam. Hostilities in the rural areas would often create refugees who would move into the city. One such day, I observed a boy of about six years of age. The boy was walking hurriedly behind a cart. The cart was full of household items. The cart was being pulled by a man, who I imagined to be the boy's father.

I was driving a jeep behind the cart, for the moment indifferent to what I was seeing, then for some reason the boy turned to look at me and my passenger. The boy's young face, eyes filled with fear, took us out of our indifference. Instinctively, the two of us smiled at the boy. Instantly, the look of fear subsided and a boyish grin answered our smiles.

My passenger and I became more fully aware. We were observing a boy who's whole life was being turned upside down. Who knows what he had been through the previous night. All over the city similar little lives were being changed.

The boy turned his attention back to his chore. This boy of six was making sure that the load remained secure. Pacing from side to side behind this cart, the boy was making his effort to contribute to his family's efforts. The boy seemed to treat this chore with extreme importance.

This event has always served to remind me that children need to feel they contribute. Children need to know they can add something to a family. This can become especially so, when a family is experiencing extreme adversity. However small the contribution, the effort to contribute needs to be recognized as something of great importance. Indeed, it is of great importance.

At moments of extreme family difficulty, it is understandable if we forget this. However, adults will do well to prepare not to forget! Adversity, represents an opportunity to teach. An opportunity to lay down a framework of expectation. Expectations that children welcome.

See more at: The Dynamic Family Advocate Web Site