Town Times

Town Times

The Dynamic Family Table

When your family gathers it will most often be around a table. Make the family table a powerful symbol. This symbol will reinforce and serve as a repetitive reminder of the dynamic principles which give power to family.

First,the table itself is a reminder that the main purpose of family is mutual aid & support.

Next, this mutual aid & support rests upon the four legs. Let each leg represent one of four major principles that give power to family;

One leg represents Growth: The family must aim to grow its power to create opportunity for all the family members. Growth of the familys' ability to deal with adversity. Growth through wealth, valuable friendships, and a commitment to good marriages are just some of the ways the family grows.

Another leg represents Unity: The commitment that we make to act as a unit, as a team, as one organization built of relatives.

A third leg represents the principle of Contribution: An expectation, that each family member will provide social & economic contributions towards the mutual aid & support of a strong extended family system. Each family member should be given an opportunity to contribute to the power of the family.

The fourth leg prepresents the principle of Longevity: The habit of growing the family power should be made multi-generational. Many mechanism's to pass on the Dynamic Family Table. Mechanisim's to include rituals, family symbols, ethical & legacy wills, wills, traditions, reunions, special family places and much more.
The family elders & leaders need to be vigilant to avoid the dissipation of the family power. `

Kevin Daly Shares Thoughts On Children & Thanksgiving

The following is a contribution by Kevin Daly of Houston, Texas

December 28, 1999

Thanksgiving

The other day was Christmas. Again. By its’ very nature, Xmas seems to focus on children. The movies. The ads. Santa Claus. Or not; it might be me.

But after giving it a great deal of thought, I think Thanksgiving may be a more appropriate time to actually focus on children. A time to express our gratitude to, and for, children. Not just our own children, but children in general. I know that doesn’t reflect what we see in the news every day, and maybe that’s a part of why I think that. The “news” about children is always bad. Newborns left in dumpsters. Infants beaten and burned. Neglected children. Under-educated children. Under fed children. Un-loved children. Abducted children. Murdered children. Murdering children. Children on drugs. Children with AIDS. Pregnant children having other children. I have no idea what the number is, but it often seems that 15-20% of the stories on/in the news are stories like this; sad children stories and I sometimes wonder how many similar stories never get reported.

The evidence isn’t anecdotal by any means. Over 3,000,000 children a year reported to CPS for suspected abuse and/or neglect. More than 1,000 per year dead from abuse and/or neglect. Over 1,000,000 in foster homes. Over 15,000,000 living in poverty.

America treats its’ young like chattel. Or, as my own child pointed out to me, "America Eats Its Young". We always have. In the mid 1800’s in Philadelphia, the City of Brotherly Love, one dead child was found in a garbage can every day. Every day.

So maybe the idea of expressing thanks for our children seems silly. We adults have gotten used to thinking of gratitude and thanks as something that our children owe to us. That the children we have brought into the world ought to be grateful to us for all the things that we have given them; an idea, which if shouted loud enough and long enough, is probably itself a subtle form of child abuse.

All I know for sure is that I spoke to my son several days ago, and I am grateful for that.

In every stage of their life, children give every bit as much as they get. As infants, they give us the mere pleasure of their existence. As small people, they give us the pleasure of letting us watch them learn and grow. As teenagers, difficult as it may seem at times, we enjoy watching them find their own moral and intellectual compasses, knowing we had something to do with it. And as they become adults, we quietly watch with muted pride as they enter the real world as capable, admirable people in their very own right.

I believe that gratitude and thanks, though normally felt on the receiving end, is actually something that is given. And children, of all ages, powerless though they may be at times, give it all of the time. What they give most, oddly enough, is “need”. They need. And most adults who feel needed are given the gift of finding deep within themselves the capacity and ability to answer that “need”.

In a weird kind of way, children make adults become adults because they force us to become grown-ups, which is different from being an adult. They force us to learn compromise, and patience, and that we have the ability and obligation to help others, which can be very satisfying when that someone is small, helpless, and trusting.

So, next Thanksgiving, look around the table. Some of the people there, whatever their ages, are people that you created, and people you owe thanks to.

Thanks owed to them for improving, gladdening, and enriching our lives. I know how many faults I have (to the nearest hundred). And I know all too well how many things I've screwed up as an "adult". But having said that, I also know that I would have been worse, much worse, without my children.

So, Thank You, Jessica. And Thank You, Brian. And, last but not least, Thank You, Jenn.

News - A Tuk Tuk Mechanic Leads Friends and Family Beyond Disaster

News - A Tuk Tuk Mechanic Leads Friends and Family Beyond Disaster

Richmond.com Holiday Guide / Features

Richmond.com Holiday Guide / Features

Use the Holidays for Inspiration!

The Holidays inspire me to appreciate the power of my family. The Holidays expose your appreciation or lack of appreciation for family. It does not matter if time with family is filled with harmony or conflict or a combination of the two.

It does not matter if your appreciation is from a distance of thousands of miles or from across the dining room table. You can choose to make harmony totally frivolous. You can make conflict destructive. However, both can be used to appreciate the power of family. When conflict is exposed, mine it for opportunities, make it constructive. Maybe just make note of the conflict to deal with after the holidays. As for harmony, build on it, use it for a higher purpose.

History teaches great lessons about the power of family. History teaches how conflict is mined and made useful. History teaches how the power of family dissipates through frivolous purposes. Role models can be found by a good study of history. Today begin a good habit: study history to find ways to make your family strong!
Ignite the spark of your dynastic instincts - read biographies & memoirs.

News-Record.com - Greensboro, North Carolina: Entertainment: For holidays, we all need a little Kissinger upside the head

News-Record.com - Greensboro, North Carolina: Entertainment: For holidays, we all need a little Kissinger upside the head

For them, it belongs beside the turkey - The Boston Globe

For them, it belongs beside the turkey - The Boston Globe

Scotsman.com News - Scotland - Lenin, M and Sonneywolferine top list of most unusual baby names

Scotsman.com News - Scotland - Lenin, M and Sonneywolferine top list of most unusual baby names

The internet & extended family !

The Internet offers an opportunity to live our lives with stronger extended family relationships:

• The internet offers us an opportunity to stay closer to our family as we have less need to move for a career. Work from home or near home opportunities exist and will increase.
  
• Instant inexpensive global communication means: Even if we have a family that is far flung, we can have a constant flow of communication among all family members.
  
• In the recent past, peer groups have become as or more important than extended family. Many factors including the internet will change the nature of peer groups. As an example, we now place quite a bit of emphasis on networking & building mentoring relationships. This takes place more easily and quite naturaly within extended family.
• Very significant, is the persistence of nepotism. Nepotism is not going to stop having an affect. Rather than ceasing to exist, nepotism will evolve, adapting to the new ways of doing things.

As with most trends, not everyone will experiance the above. Good examples of the trend will co-exist along with bad examples. Family leaders with vision & good instincts will use the internet to build strong family relationships.

Learn about "marital adventure" & "tribal support"!

Staying married 50 years or more takes work